Bearded Lady (A beginning in Stanyan Street, and a tearful end on Rockbourne Terrace)

Upon our parting
I should've went home
and freshened my sheets
a faint smell lingered,
I went to sleep
crying more than ever
and haunted
you were still in my bed
And perhaps I was in love
but it was love that I couldn't accept
No,
not even yours my sweet
your love
was no match for my heart
forever stained.
From the deepest oceans
I'm sorry I couldn't trust you
even when you spoke the truth
but you must know
I was comfortable in solitude
everyday in every year
except that night,
after many tears
and a final kiss
that night
I didn't want to be
alone.
Not even in sleep
do I stop to wonder
if I made the right decision
Not even with closed eyes
do my scars
fail to burn
I'd like to do everything for you
but a coward will do none
so please
tell me you'll be okay
I couldn't live
with anything less.