For years
I have only pleased myself,
pleased others if it would please me.
For years
I spent my weekdays and weekends alone
but never lonely.
I went to the cinema
to a bar or two
to a restaurant without a companion.
For years
I convinced myself to please this selfish man.
I was happy.
I was vain.
Everyday until today.
Today,
conflicted.
I'm not so sure about it all
since the fateful evening of Marienbad.